jena holliday on culture and cultural identity
name | jena holliday
affirm your identity | i am a beautiful black woman who is a child of God. i am loved, and he is well pleased with his creation.
her recent book | a spoonful of faith
songs currently fueling your soul | promises by maverick city, spirit by beyoncé, and all things solange
current inspiration | i am constantly inspired by people who do things different. who stand out. who don't want to be like everything and everyone else. some that come to mind—@tobenwigwe, @morganharpernichols, and @sew_trill just to name a few!
COMMUNITY CARE
what do sisterhood and black womanhood mean to you, and how have they guided your journey?
i’m the middle child of seven. i have two brothers and four sisters. my dad has a huge family. my dad has four or five sisters, and my mom has two sisters. so i grew up surrounded by strong and opinionated women. my mom also taught my siblings and me the importance of being true to who we are. she always encouraged us to do what we loved. she saw the gifts within us, the things that God placed within us, and she always encouraged us to walk in that. that plays a huge role in who i am today and the work i create. i grew into even more of that just from conversations i’ve had with other women. my tight-knit family played a part in how i view sisterhood and womanhood. i never felt competition with other women outside of my family because they instilled it in me to be who i was. i never felt like i was competing with a friend or anyone else. we cheered each other on because that’s what i did with my sisters.
i love to put that into my work. i love to encourage women to get to know and love who they are. even the parts they don’t understand or don’t like because God loves them right where they are. i try to incorporate that in the words i put in my work and through images of women standing together because women are powerful and run everything. if we’re not in front of it, we’re in the back of it. i’ve seen that through the powerful women that i’ve had in my life.
what have you learned about the power of your voice as you connect with women who often feel overlooked or stereotyped?
i’ve always used my voice. but at a younger age, i felt very insecure about it because it differed from others. i grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and went to mostly white schools. so there weren’t many black girls. using my voice always felt different because i saw the world differently. as i’ve grown older, i’ve continued to use my voice, which has gotten stronger. but i’ve seen so many women suppress their voice and not share the things on their heart. when i uncovered my identity in Christ and understood that what he said about me was more important than anything i could ever hear from anyone else, my voice got stronger and louder and i could incorporate that into my artwork. whenever you see light, goodness, or potential in someone, speak life over it. i’ve learned that from seeing other women do the same thing. so i do that in my relationships with people. many black women are overlooked and unheard, and they have a lot of experience and a lot of wisdom. because of that, i try to give women a voice. you can hear their voices through my art. i try to incorporate words so the woman reading, listening, and looking knows where i’m coming from.
i also like to create a joyful and lighthearted look of the black woman because, for so long, the media portrayed such a bad image of us. we’re only strong, got too much attitude, or too much whatever. that’s not the women i know. so i started thinking of and illustrating the beautiful women i got to see around me. they were human, who cried in blood and didn’t always have the words. i appreciate the black woman because she is strong, but she has had no choice not to be. but that doesn’t make her have all the answers or do all the things. to survive and to live, she’s had to be strong. so i try to make my art a safe place for black women to be who they are.
SPIRITUAL CARE
what has been one of the biggest challenges you’ve had to work through to allow God to shape your identity?
my pride was the biggest thing that i ever had to release. i grew up in a christian home, but when i turned 18, i didn’t feel a personal connection to God. it was my parent’s faith that i believed in, so i questioned it. i didn’t have a connection to it. i didn’t attend church or have a relationship with God until i was about 25. i had been asking all these questions internally about the purpose of life. i didn’t realize i was asking all these questions, but God spoke to me one night. i never felt like i heard his voice until that night where he said, “why are you asking everyone where to go and what to do and who to be except for the one that created you?” it was like the blinders came off, and i could see the world differently. at that moment, my entire life changed because i wanted to know him. so i started on this journey of having a relationship with him, and through that, he showed me things that he put inside of me.
i went to school for marketing. i did not go to school for illustration, so this was never my plan. but God started telling me to show people my work. as i did that, people were like, “this is beautiful, why aren’t you doing this?” it was just something i did on the side, and the more that i trusted what he said about me and what he placed inside me, i saw it grow and experienced the fruit of it.
in the beginning, i had a lot of pride because i didn’t want to fail. i was afraid because it differed from what i knew. but the stuff that God had for me was vulnerable. it was the stuff that needed to be said. it was what needed to be shown. i had to trust his plan and trust him in that. he knew what he was doing, even when i didn’t know. it was all new to me, and it was uncomfortable. i was trying to do what God told me, but it didn’t look like it was working out. i had no money for two years trying to start this business. i had to lay down my ego. but i think the painful things in life help me to trust him because when you ain’t got it; you have to trust the Lord. i learned a lot about being humble and meek. those early years were about building my character and teaching me how to hold this thing that God was giving me. i don’t think i could have what i have now or be who i am now without those humbling years.
you’re known for your drawings of black women and black motherhood. if you could steer the conversation in your spiritual community around representation and faith, what would that discussion be about?
i have had many relationships with different types of women. i’m learning that we can be close and love each other, even with diverse backgrounds and experiences. it takes more to love someone who’s not like you and doesn’t understand the world as you do. but there is the importance of having a connection to a similar experience in life, too. it helps to have people where you don’t have to say anything, they just know that you understand. it’s like our relationship with God. we can go into his presence, and he knows everything. we don’t even have to speak. we can groan, and he knows what we’re saying. that’s the connection we have to people with similar cultural backgrounds.
i’ve been in rooms where i’m the only one there, so i didn’t want to speak on behalf of all black people. but i have found it’s an opportunity for me to give my perspective on different topics. so whenever i’m in those positions, i try to understand that God placed me in that room because he wants them to hear a unique perspective. but there’s a tension there, being a black person living in this day and age.
PHYSICAL CARE
as a woman of faith, how do you find balance in embracing your cultural identity but not overemphasizing it?
i think there’ are a lot of layers there. i’m reading a study with my sisters by the jude 3 project called “through eyes of color,” which talks about helping you know what you believe and why you believe it through a black person’s eyes. i think our history plays a huge part in why we sometimes don’t want to connect our race with our experience as christians. i believe God made us black on purpose. he didn’t do it by chance. he said, “no, she needs to have brown skin.” so one thing that God reminded me of a couple of years ago was i made you black on purpose. he wanted me to be a black person, which relates to how i see the world, and it relates to how i understand his Word.
we were enslaved when we came to america, and there were people with evil objectives who tried to keep us down by using the Bible against us. even though we are out of slavery, so much of that still exists. we feel the tension of wanting to be proud of who we are, but not wanting to diminish others and who they are. as black women, we can’t change that, so we have to stand firm and embrace our blackness even if we’re not vocalizing it. there are many ways you can do that, but i still struggle with finding that balance. when i first started illustrating, i didn’t want to color anyone because i felt like it was a source of division. but then i saw that, unfortunately, because of our history, it feels like it’s dividing us. but we should celebrate the differences of who we are, because God did it on purpose. he loves the colorfulness of our world, and we should too.
so with that, i try to incorporate women of different shades so other women will connect with them. but i’ve done a few pieces where i didn’t color women’s skin tones. i just did different things with their hair so women from all walks can find themselves in it. there’s space for us to connect with women from every background. but there’s also a message that needs to be specifically said to black women.
SELF-CARE
you say that people should “do everything as worship.” what does that mean to you, and how has that helped you step more fully into yourself?
to me, it is being vulnerable in our process of creating. it’s laying down all of our junk because we have to lay everything down when we worship. my pastor described it well. when we lift our hands, we have to put everything down. we have surrender what’s in our hands. when it comes to art and creativity, doing it as worship means allowing what comes out to honor God, and then he will tell you what to do with it. i don’t go into the creative process, thinking it’ll be a certain way. it often surprises me in ways. as i’m creating artwork or creating things, i’m like, “oh, i like that!”
when i go into it with a specific idea and thought of where i think i’m going to go, it never ends up that way. or i overthink it and overanalyze it, and then the magic is gone. i’ve learned to be vulnerable and lay down whatever thoughts i’m having and whatever things i’m experiencing, and use them to honor God. to use the gifts he’s given me, and to create something. a lot of times what goes into that session isn’t really what i want to share. sometimes it’s cool, and i’m like, “oh my gosh, this is awesome!” we live in a society where we always want to produce and show people things and monetize them. when there’s a vulnerable aspect to what i’m putting out there, it gives me space to realize God takes care of me. i don’t have to worry about selling this or trying to make it these things, but i can trust in who he is and who he said i am, and he will tell me what to do with this work.
but i think that comes along with trusting him. it took me a long time to get to this point. i won’t say i’ve always jus trusted God. it’s taken me many years to get to the point where i could trust him with my work, with my art, with my business, and know that he’ll take care of me, regardless. so i try to implement doing it as worship in like everything. i’m not always good at it, but i think that’s what’s cool about him. he still loves us no matter what. he knows us so deeply and knows there’s so much going on. so i trust that about him.
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*this conversation is about culture and identity.
