brianca on learning to love yourself

name | brianca

your current mantra | what’s for me, will be for me.

on your must-read list | all about love by bell hooks

song currently fueling your soul | i want you around by snoh aalegra

your current inspiration | every black woman in my life.

COMMUNITY CARE

what does sisterhood and black womanhood mean to you and how has it informed and shaped your mental wellness journey?

sisterhood is community. community is fellowship with others who have common goals, interests, etc. being someone who would describe themselves as independent, i’ve realized how imperative sisterhood is to thriving in this world. strong is the first word that comes to mind when i think about black womanhood. mostly because it’s consistently been used to describe every black woman i know. however, i think the more accurate words are empathetic, powerful, passionate, resilient, and beautiful. the more confident i become in my black womanhood, and the more i communicate with others, the better i get at dissecting and addressing mentally toxic behaviors.

how has your cultural background influenced the way you take care of your mental health? 

my cultural background encouraged using prayer as a cure-all. prayer is amazing and works, but there is an entire profession dedicated to mental health that can be coupled with prayer. 

SPIRITUAL CARE

what would you say to people who feel as though their mental and emotional struggles make them unworthy of connecting with God?

i would say:

“and i am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” 

how would you like to see mental wellness addressed more within your faith community? 

my current church does a great job utilizing the gifts, talents, and professions of its members to create groups or sessions centered on specific topics. there is one designated for mental wellness, and i think more communities should have a similar makeup.

PHYSICAL CARE

how has culture shaped your view of physical wellness, and how have you had to redefine it?

it honestly has made me feel like skinny, white bodies are the epitome of health and wellness. i just recently learned that the bmi is rooted in racism, and that alone took so much pressure off me. it also explained why, at the peak of my personal fitness, i was told i was obese. perfect blood pressure. perfect bloodwork. but obese. now, i find bodies and doctors i can identify with, and i ask myself a few questions. am i eating healthy? am i working out? am i beating myself up when i want a burger instead of a salad? 

how do you make space for feeling good when so much is not good?

i think discipline makes space for feeling good. a lot of times, i don’t feel like doing what it takes to feel good. that’s where discipline kicks in, becomes a habit, and stops excuses in their tracks. so much isn’t good, and so much of that is not in our control. i start where i have control.

SELF-CARE

what does your self-care practice look like and how has it supported your mental health? 

my mind easily gets bogged down, and my new form of self-care is to laugh. i find something or watch something that makes me laugh. it changes my whole spirit. 

what does healing mean to you and what myths have you had to overcome?

it means changing thought processes, reflecting on behavior, and unlearning harmful practices. healing is never really “done.” 

share a message from your future self to your present self.

hi beauty,

you’re doing a fantastic job of turning lemons into lemonade! don’t let the grind become your identity. everything that’s for you, is for you. it’ll all be worth it. love you!

.

*this conversation is about self-love practices.