kimberly haley on mental health and wellness
name | kimberly haley
your current mantra | it’s not really a mantra, but my word is position
on your must-read list | yikes i don’t have one—maybe you can give a recommendation
song currently fueling your soul | make room by jonathan mcreynolds
current inspiration | i haven’t consumed much audio content lately in an effort to filter through my own thoughts
COMMUNITY CARE
what do sisterhood and womanhood mean to you, and how has it informed and shaped your mental wellness journey?
sisterhood and black womanhood, in particular, have played a significant role in shaping my worldview. these types of relationships have helped strengthen my resilience along my mental wellness journey. i believe healing and restoration happen best in a safe community. fortunately, i have benefitted from being able to let down my walls and share the highs and lows of life within mine. knowing there’s no judgment is so refreshing. also, knowing that i will be held accountable as i continue to make the necessary moves to become the best version of myself has been a game-changer in helping me improve my mental health. i believe accountability is such a pure and sincere act of love and should be a part of every friendship. having friends who can lovingly check you when you are being pessimistic or constantly downplaying yourself is a true gift.
what advice would you give women who have a hard time expressing their needs and utilizing their support system during times of distress?
the advice i would give is to take an inventory of your relationships first, making sure they are equipped to handle the weight of your needs. sometimes our discernment prompts us to refrain from sharing certain things to shield us from more emotional wounds being created. once you’ve taken inventory of your relationships and can list all the ways certain people have shown up for you, then it’s on you to lay the fear and the pride aside. i would advise anyone who has a difficult time expressing their needs to try to separate their needs from their identity. when we feel our times of need are directly linked to our identity, it can be hard to be vulnerable and reach out for help.
SPIRITUAL CARE
how have you learned to confront trauma in your life, and what role have your convictions played during those experiences?
i have learned that when trauma is not dealt with; it perpetuates a feeling of anxiety and paranoia which ultimately creates room for depression to set in. as i’ve gotten older, my desire to always want to be a vessel for God’s use has been the driving force for me to get my trauma processed.
if you could steer the conversation in your spiritual community around mental wellness and faith, what would that discussion be about?
the discussion would be centered around fear because i believe that’s a major component that is blocking many believers from accessing true healing for their minds and bodies. my call to action would simply be—be open. for me, using alternative methods of healing has been a major contributor in both the restoration and maintenance of my mental health. meditation is powerful, therapy is effective, the use of essential oils and writing affirmations do not contradict God’s Word, and i want christians to know that. i think the quality of my mental health suffered longer than it needed to because i felt guilty for wanting to use anything other than the Bible to assist me in improving my mental health. God created nature and gifted humans with skills that can assist us in our life’s journey. always use discernment, keep your focus on Christ, and don’t operate in fear. it’s hard to heal when fear is such an ever-present part of the process.
PHYSICAL CARE
on your podcast, you talk about dealing with “unresolved emotional real estate” in your heart. how does learning to navigate through that space support your physical wellness?
the imagery that comes to mind is when you let the air out of a balloon or tire—a release happens. when you learn to navigate through hard emotions, it empowers you to begin to let things go and release. this positively affects our health. when we are dealing with emotions that are unresolved, we are holding on to feelings that are often toxic. this can affect all the bodily systems and organs that are designed to help the body eliminate and filter toxins out of the body naturally. when your digestive system is affected, you could experience difficulty eliminating or keeping things down. when your respiratory system is affected, you could have a hard time breathing properly, which can also cause feelings of suffocation and lightheadedness. when your liver or kidneys are affected, your blood, or other bodily waste can’t be filtered properly, causing breakouts, bladder infections, etc. the body and the mind are intertwined, and when we hold on to toxic emotions, our bodies take the hit.
you once talked about the difference between stress and anxiety. how have you learned not to confuse the two, and how do you cope with each one?
i learned how to separate the two by understanding myself more, which took time. i noticed when i experience extreme stress and am not implementing self-care; i become anxious. i started realizing there were levels to this for me lol. once i was able to notice the trends and patterns, i was able to get ahead of the curve and carve out extra time for myself to slow down, unplug, and tend to my mental health needs.
SELF-CARE
how are you reclaiming the parts of yourself that have been neglected or misunderstood?
over the last few weeks, my body has told me basically to sit down lol. my energy levels have been very low, and i have been listening to what my body is saying and not resisting. listening to my body and what it has been prompting me to do is how i believe i am reclaiming parts of me i have neglected. it’s not easy, but it’s simple—the best remedies are.
how would you define self-care, and how has that perspective supported your mental health lately?
i would define self-care as any activity or practice that i do to intentionally nurture my mind, body, and spirit. this perspective has taken the restrictions off of what self-care has been advertised as and given me the freedom to explore what it actually is for me. i believe any self-care practice should always leave you feeling unrestricted, rejuvenated, and restored.
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*this conversation is about mental health and wellbeing.
