when prayers seem to go unanswered
choose hope instead of doubt
*this post is all about trusting God with unanswered prayer.
“thank you for praying for me all these years. i wouldn’t be where i am today if it weren’t for your prayers.” his words stung. they were spoken with happiness, yet heard with displeasure. they came from a place of gratitude, yet landed in a place of resentment. i laughed under my breath.
“Lord, when i pray for other people, you answer, but when i pray for myself, you remain silent. i’ve been asking and waiting for years, and yet nothing has changed. is your plan really to give me hope and a future? i don’t know how much longer i can do this for.”
sometimes it feels like God is being cruel, deferring our hope while fulfilling everyone else's. but God does answer our prayers. he is not in the business of ignoring (1 john 5:14-15). he is waiting to perform miracles in our lives and is disappointed when we lack faith in him (matthew 13:58). he longs to fulfill his plans for us and through us. he does not neglect us (psalm 32:8). so what do we do when our prayers seem to go unanswered?
we can treat our relationship with God how we treat our relationship with people. we think if we are in his good graces, our prayers will be answered with a yes, but when we are not, the answer will be a resounding no. our performance-driven relationships can often shape our view of God. but God does not act like us, and his ways of thinking are far beyond ours (1 corinthians 2:11). sometimes, God will answer our prayers in ways that are the complete opposite of what we had anticipated; this can devastate, especially when we think our request is in alignment with scripture and His will. it's painful to think his no is based on his loving-kindness and our eternal good (matthew 7:7–11). this is when we must wrestle and go deeper with God to be at peace with the situation. but this does not mean there is no blessing in response to our prayers, and we should be careful not to mistake a no with a not yet.
“a man out of the crowd answered, “teacher, i brought my mute son, made speechless by a demon, to you. whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. he foams at the mouth, grinds his teeth, and goes stiff as a board. i told your disciples, hoping they could deliver him, but they couldn’t.” mark 9:17-18 msg
this man has had his hope deferred. he’s had to watch his son endure suffering long enough to become desperate and expose his pain in front of strangers. he approaches Christ after experiencing what seemed like yet another no. i’m sure he had heard about the miracles Jesus had been performing throughout the region (mark 7:24-30, 7:31-37, 8:22-26) and probably knew that his disciples could do the same (mark 6:7), yet they failed to heal his son. he could have walked away discouraged, resentful even. the enemy loves to keep us distracted with disappointment. he likes it when we forget all that God has done in the past and all that he has promised. and he will never remind us what those things are or tell us what we don’t already know for ourselves. to discern the answers to our requests, we have to continue to communicate with the One who answers.
“he asked the boy’s father, “how long has this been going on?” “ever since he was a little boy. many times it pitches him into fire or the river to do away with him. if you can do anything, do it. have a heart and help us!” Jesus said, “if? there are no ‘ifs’ among believers. anything can happen.” no sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, “then i believe. help me with my doubts!” mark 9:21-24 msg
this man is frustrated. he wants Jesus to hurry up and do something, but he’s not precisely sure he can or that he will. sometimes our circumstances don’t change because we are the ones that need to change. our situation becomes more significant than our God. when this happens, we need help with our unbelief. this man wouldn't have seen his lack of belief if he had walked away. but that’s what we do. we get tired of praying; we get tired of not receiving, so we stop asking.
in high school, i was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that robs you of your energy and makes you lose control over your own body. for the past 20 years, i’ve been waiting for healing, expecting God to change my situation. my faith for healing has gradually decreased, and i've become an “if” believer. “Lord, if you could just give me one pain-free day…” or “God, if you could just (fill in the blank), i would be happy with that.” if i’m honest, i’m not sure i believe my circumstances will ever change because my prayers have gone unanswered. because of this, i’ve stopped asking.
God wants us to continue to seek him and remain close to him. but, this requires intentionality, and it usually requires more pursuit, humility, and persistence than we often think is necessary or feel like we can give. we want the blessing without the process. we stop engaging in spiritual warfare because it looks and feels different from how we expected (ephesians 6:11-12). sometimes we give up blessings because we stop persevering. God is teaching me how to pray through deferment, disappointment, and setbacks. he is addressing my unbelief. he is exposing my lack of faith.
“after arriving back home, his disciples cornered Jesus and asked, “why couldn't we throw the demon out?” he answered, “there is no way to get rid of this kind of demon except by prayer.” mark 9: 28-29 msg
Jesus heals the boy and then tells his followers he did so because of prayer. yet there was no prayer said during the situation. Jesus was referring to being prepared through prayer, and in some cases, fasting beforehand. his disciples were negligent in cultivating their faith through prayer. so when the time came, they were unprepared to receive a miracle. prayer is powerful and effective; God instructs us never to stop praying (ephesians 6:18, 1 thessalonians 5:17). prayer disconnects us from an earthly mindset and connects us to a heavenly mindset. it removes us from a realm of limitations and takes us into a realm of possibilities (matthew 19:26, jeremiah 32:17, ephesians 3:20, luke 1:37). our God is the God of Breakthrough—he is our Baal Perazim. if we remain in constant communion with him, he will answer (john 15:7). no matter the person, no matter the ask, he will move in response to our persistent, unwavering prayers.
“this, then, is how you should pray: ‘our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.’” matthew 6:10 niv
there are many things i’ve been waiting for. my heart gets heavy when i think about specific prayers that i’m still waiting for the answer to. but we are all waiting for something; peace amid family turmoil, reconciliation of broken relationships, a resolution to unjust situations, financial security, a relationship, healing, children, stability instead of ever-changing circumstances, the list goes on and on. what we have in mind might not be what God has in store for our lives, but i assure you, he is waiting to do things in our lives that have already been done in heaven. for this to happen, we must practice obedience before, during, and after he fulfills his promises. but sometimes our situations will seem to get worse before they get better. the boy’s pain intensified when Lord came near; the enemy knew that their time was limited (mark 9:26-27). but Christ’s resurrection power took that bleak situation and made it bright, and he is waiting to do the same in all our lives.
so i continue to persevere. i hold on to the promises God has put on my heart. i wait for my “but God” moment, knowing that he will deliver because he is Jehavah Jireh—the Lord Who Provides.
HELPFUL BOOKS
fervent: a woman’s battle plan to serious, specific and strategic prayer by priscilla shirer
when you pray by jackie hill perry
*this post is all about trusting God when prayers are unanswered.
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